I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My ATM looks so different sober.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
