Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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