I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
