Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
