it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
