so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
