i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
