You're a womanizer and a bitch.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
