so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
