Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
pray to the hookup gods
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
