You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
