I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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