I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
