i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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