she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
