For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
