last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
