im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
