i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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