i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
