I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
