I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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