after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
