There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize