in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
