When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize