I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
