things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
