You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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