Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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