Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize