You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
