Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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