the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
