And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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