i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
