If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I didn't shave. On purpose
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
