I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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