I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
