Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
