She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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