if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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