2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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