She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
