We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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