she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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