guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
