i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
