Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
