I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
