i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
porn star boner night. come get it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Randomize
