I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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