I'm jealous of your bromance
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
