ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
