I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
