oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
