new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
