I wish my penis had an off switch
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
No subtext here. People are naked.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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