they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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