My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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