So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
