It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
