Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
