SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
