I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
