so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
