I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
