I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
