It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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