she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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