Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
