If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
