Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There's always time for handjobs
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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